Thursday, May 23, 2024

Dealing with Difficult Family Members.

December 31, 2018 by  
Filed under Health, Weekly Columns

(Akiit.comWe will all come across difficult people in our lives. If they are work colleagues, friends or partners, it is easy to either say goodbye and get them out of your life or just put up with their bad ways. But what of that difficult person is a member of your family? It is not so easy to walk away from them then, and if you do you might just strain relationships with other family members.

Don’t Try To Change Them

You should always accept people as they are, whether they are a family member or not. It is tempting to try and speak with them to get them to alter their behavior, but this is rarely successful.

You should realize that they have always behaved this way and lower the expectations you have of them. You have to remember that not everyone will see things as you do and accepting the way they are will improve your relationship with them.

You also have to remember that you do not always know what problems the person may have. It could be that they have had trouble with the law, for instance, that is having lifetime effects on them. If you do find out that this is the reason they are being so difficult, you could perhaps assist by getting them the help they need, whether that be a therapist, doctor or even a sex offender lawyer or an attorney that specializes in drink driving offenses. If they know you are supporting them they will feel better and so will you because you will feel like you’re taking positive action.

Stay True To Yourself

Never just agree with them for the sake of a quiet life.  You should always be true to yourself and your beliefs. Encourage them to let you know what their views are and listen carefully to what they have to say. You will possibly end up agreeing to disagree, but at least that difficult person will know that you will be there if they need to talk to someone.

Avoid Topics That Trigger Rows

There will always be topics that trigger arguments, regardless of whether you are dealing with a difficult family member or not. Get to know what subjects the person is most likely to argue over, and avoid them whenever possible. You will soon get to know which ones will promote healthy debate and which areas should be strictly off limits. Avoiding them will help to prevent you and the other person becoming stressed.

It’s Not Your Fault

It is very hard in life not to take things personally, but when someone is difficult it is rarely your fault. If you watch your family member you will probably see that they are difficult with everyone. Some members of the family will just ignore this fact and others will try to fight against it. When you see this happening around you it will just confirm that you are not to blame for their behavior, and you should just try to keep calm until everyone else has calmed down.

Because the family member is difficult to get along with it does not automatically mean they are a bad person, or that they should be ostracized because of it. Often it is because they have different viewpoints to the rest of the family, but their views should be respected just as you would anyone else’s.

Staff Writer; Larry Ross

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